Tuesday, July 31, 2007

In the Blogs / On the Lists

* Going to PBP? In a post yesterday on The Daily Randonneur, Ed Felker notes that the big event is just three weeks away. His focus between now and then: family time and sleep. Read all about it here.

* Not going to PBP? While more than 600 American cyclists gear up for PBP, there are others who have already met their riding goals for 2007. One of them is David Rowe, who set his sights on the Portland-to-Glacier 1000K. In a new installment on his blog, Rowe says that “setting a goal that is aligned with your values is the key to success in everything, including long distance cycling.” Read his reflections on missing PBP here.

* I was in Mexico… Michael Rasmussen -- the Oregon Randonneur, not the racer -- claims he was also in Mexico this spring and has the passport to prove it. Check it out here.

* I was in … Vancouver?
That’s Vancouver, Washington. Kent Petersen has been rambling around his home state. Read his latest installment here.

Monday, July 30, 2007

C’ing Double...A Q&A with Chet and Cyndy













Well, well here’s a first for the Trailer Park: a Tag Team Q&A.

We’re delighted to have caught up with Raleigh’s very own tandem randonneurs, Chet Buell and Cyndy Van Der Wiele. They're veterans of the 2003 Paris Brest Paris. Cyndy says they were so elated when they crossed the finish line in 03 that they vowed, then and there, to go back in 2007. They’re among the 21 Tar Heels heading to PBP in August.

Did you know Chet and Cyndy are the ones responsible for both of North Carolina’s “1000Ks from Hell”? They say next year’s course will be really hard….Early registration is now open.

Read on to find out how this dynamic duo got started in randonneuring, how tandem riding helps their marriage, and what goals they have in mind for this year’s PBP.

What got you started doing brevets?
Cyndy: It was New Year’s Eve 1998 and it seemed like a good idea at the time. No, seriously, I was doing TT’s at the State Games of NC and thinking about new directions, new challenges and was considering doing triathlons in 1999. I went to the NCBC January 1999 meeting and Gilbert Anderson and friends were giving a program on Paris-Brest-Paris. It sounded like fun, so I had my ancient 12-speed Peugeot transformed into a randonneuring bike with Campy triple, lights, etc. I did my first brevet series, riding the 300km during an unscheduled date and I hit two dogs, got bit, continued, finished within the allotted time, and the rest was history. I was going to do PBP ‘99 with Joel Lawrence on his tandem, but he bailed out in late June (not enough training miles), and I was so psyched for PBP that I sent in my registration as a solo rider. Despite not successfully completing PBP, I was determined not to give up and that’s how Chet and I purchased a tandem bicycle in October 1999. We wanted to do it together.

Chet: Well there are two answers for this, one short the other long, so for the short answer: I was tired of staying home while Cyndy went to all the exotic places. The long answer: After Cyndy’s first attempt at PBP I thought that given enough training and enough effort we could make it. I was the first to suggest that we do it on a tandem then Cyndy got on board with the idea of the two of us on one bike working towards the same goal.

What was the longest ride you’d done before your first brevet?
Cyndy: a century-- my first was the one in Savannah, GA in 1997.

Chet: In my youth I had ridden several multi-day rides, but never with a time limit, I think the longest was about 300 miles over 4 days.

What’s your motivation in heading over to Paris Brest Paris for the second & third time?
Chet: A good friend (Woody Graham) explains randonneuring as proof that you are missing the “This is stupid gene” but in all honesty I want to go back to just have fun, PBP 03 for me was very tough. I ate something that made it almost impossible for me to eat for 24 hours. I lost close to 25 lbs. and struggled with so much the first day that I can not remember much for that time period.

Cyndy: 2003 was our first on tandem and I wanted Chet to experience what I had experienced in 1999. This time, it’s because when we rode into the finish, we were so elated, we immediately said to each other that we were going to be back in 2007. We’ve basically planned our life around it-- university education, work opportunities, etc., all have to accommodate PBP.

Any time goal in mind?
Chet: I am proud of our previous times for all our 1200k rides: BMB in 2000 83:22; PBP 2003 71:27. But as for a goal this year, mine is to have fun and enjoy the ride.

Cyndy: Well, we finished in 71h27m in 2003. We were the 13th tandem out of 65 or 67 tandems. It’d be nice to finish in less than 70 hours, but I’m not going to have a nervous breakdown during the ride and clock watch. We’ll ride as strong and hard as we feel; I think we’re going to go as far as we can before taking a sleep break (Chet didn’t take one during Boston-Montreal-Boston in 2004 until 42 hours into it). In 2003, we took a sleep break in Carhaix on the outbound, and Fougeres on the return-- about 3 hours sleep at each. Now that we’ve done quite a few brevet series and 3 1000km randonnees, we trust each other as far as minimizing time at controls.

What book/music, if any, are you taking to Paris?
Chet: I will probably be taking one or two text books with me, I have one semester left as an undergraduate and my classes begin while we are in France. So even though I will be missing the first few days of class I will need to keep up with my class work.

Cyndy: No books! We’ll probably pick up more French music CD’s. We fell in love with Yannick Noah and Grand Corps Malade [alias of slam poet Fabien Marsaud].

How has randonneuring changed you?
Chet: Physically my body seems to be able to put up with more sustained effort, and prolonged aches and pains. Mentally: I think I drool more when asked questions that require thought. ;)

Cyndy: It’s had a huge effect. Things don’t phase me as much. You learn not to panic but to think through problems. Plus a tremendous amount of self-confidence.

Favorite randonneuring memory?
Chet: BMB in 2000, we were cresting one rather nasty climb, and when I saw the road before us drop in a straight line I called out to Cyndy that we were going to give it everything we had, going from ultra granny to max gear we pushed forward, I think we topped out at 65+ mph. As we reached the bottom I asked Cyndy if anybody was behind us. Her reply was “what?” then we both heard a voice say, “You dropped everybody but the fat man!” A former racer from Scotland (Al Sutton) caught our wheel and drafted us to the bottom.

Cyndy: Lots of memories...watching a red moon rise and meteor showers, the conversations in the middle of the night with friends while riding...crazy sights along the road, the Potomac Pedalers 1000km in Virginia (our first 1000km) and seeking shelter along the road during a severe thunderstorm (we were cold and soaking wet and they offered us ice cream!), some great memories of the 2001 Gold Rush Randonnée, PBP of course. Not so favorite memories: loose dogs at night, hitting a deer on our tandem during the 2007 400km brevet...the cold rain of the 2003 N.C. Flèche, the sleet of the 2007 N.C. Flèche, riding the 600km thru the night with T.S. Barry...

What’s the last song you had stuck in your head during a ride? (And did you sing it out loud on the course?)
Chet: Having a misspent youth mired in rock & roll with no natural singing attributes, I now listen to many different types of music from techno to bluegrass. But for some reason when riding I hear Frank Zappa tunes in my head, and no I dare not sing any tunes from Joe’s Garage while riding along. That is for fear of what my stoker might think if I were to jump into song about Catholic Girls, or a Crew Slut, let alone Why does it hurt when I ………..? Plus my singing has the effect of making people leave wherever I am.

Cyndy: I always have music in my head; the tunes change according to what I’ve been rehearsing/playing lately (I play with N.C. Wind Orchestra, Duke Wind Symphony, Triangle Wind Ensemble, and others) as well as music I’ve been listening to. No, neither one of us sing out loud.

Have any other obsessive hobbies we should know about?
Chet: Obsessions, Compulsive behavior? Not me……1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9…………

Cyndy: Doing brevets extended my daringness to becoming certified (red card) as a wildland firefighter [forest firefighter]. I also judge orchids through the American Orchid Society, Inc.

Which is worth more: your car or your bikes?
Cyndy: We’ve paid less for our cars than for our bicycles...putting the Litespeed on the 1987 Volvo wagon we jettisoned last August raised its worth by 500% or more...

Chet: That will be true for our 95 BMW wagon when we put the new tandem on it.

Any special challenges in being on a tandem versus single bikes?
Chet: By that question I will assume that you have never ridden a tandem.... The first thing to remember is you do not double your output by adding another person to a bike. My favorite formula works like this: 1 rider + 1 rider on a tandem = .75% total output of the stronger rider. So hills are slower than you might expect and the flat cruising speed is slower than either person can do. What this creates is a sense that the other person is not doing their part. For our first season riding a tandem it was Cyndy who was thinking this. As for me it was all I could do to keep up with her. It was not till our third season that we hit our stride and were able to work very well together.

Cyndy: It works better if both are at a similar fitness level and if both riders have similar objectives regarding riding a brevet. Otherwise it can spell trouble...the advantage is you always have someone to ride through the night with/someone to keep you awake, navigation is way easier, and motivation. Also, making sure that we are both well-hydrated, keeping up nutrition, etc. is easier on a tandem. It’s easier to let that slip when you’re on your own and just keep pressing on (on a tandem, you can feel the other person’s energy wane or the crankiness level increase when they’re skimping...).

Does being a tandem team ever strain your marriage?
Chet: We still have our moments on the tandem when our voices can be heard over long distances, usually accompanied with rough sounding vocalizations of raw emotions, but we have learned that these moments pass and we can work with each other better if we get what is bothering us off our chests.

Cyndy: uh...I think I’ll plead the Fifth Amendment on that one...the first season of doing brevets together on the tandem was the toughest because of the learning curve (it was Chet’s first year), plus we had just started tandem riding and that whole learning curve, and we had to get a feel for each other’s riding styles, randonneuring philosophy,etc. Now, it’s just a matter of the relative stress levels in our life. Ultra-distance riding (and the pre-ride nerves, tiredness, etc.) can bring other issues to the surface; the togetherness forces you to deal with issues rather than ignore them, so it can be good and bad. On the whole, I think tandeming and randonneuring have enriched our marriage because of the trust developed between tail gunner and captain (technical descents), the shared experience of the rides, etc. It would be hard to convey those experiences to a non-randonneuring spouse; we have our own set of inside jokes.

What question do you wish I’d asked you guys?
Chet: Any suggestions for those that have not done PBP or any of the other 1200K rides? Just have them ride with us and ask all they want, plus remember to bank your time so you can finish. If anything happens that may throw you off your planned time remember that a goal is just a target do not get hung up on the fact that you will miss that target. The main target is to ride, enjoy, and finish. If you can do all three then it is a successful ride, two of the three (finishing) the it was successful, only one and you finished then ask others for advice on how to enjoy riding 1200k events. There is a wealth of knowledge out there from those that have done this before, use it to your advantage....(I did)

Cyndy: Do we have a name for ourselves? Team C’ing Double...

Bagging Mt. Mitchell


On Saturday we did what no cyclist has ever done before -- at least from Capn’s house on Grandmother Mountain.

We bagged Mount Mitchell.

Snuck up on her when she wasn’t looking, trapped her in the fog and a heavy downpour.

Saturday was a day for the record books: an out-and-back of 108 miles, including 96 miles on the Blue Ridge Parkway and a wet 5-mile slog up the winding road to Mitchell’s 6,600-foot peak.

The climbing total: 12,800 feet.



We might not have reached the summit had we not refueled with a jumbo dog, Coke and Yoohoo at Crabtree Meadows.












Another satisfied customer.








Here’s the trophy shot from the top, taken by the guy at the concession stand who sold us the celebratory hot chocolate.

When I say we bagged Mitchell, I mean that literally. That trash bag I’m wearing? I found it on the Parkway while climbing toward Mitchell’s entrance.

I hadn’t packed a raincoat and the temperature plummeted as we ascended Mitchell in a bone-chilling rain. Necessity being the mother of improvisation, I sliced a head hole and two arm holes in the bag and wore it as a makeshift windbreaker on the screaming descent. I shed my custom Hefty two hours later after the rain stopped.



Here’s Ende at the top. The guys in the background were also cyclists but they abandoned and had a friend retrieve them in a truck. They offered us a ride home. Tempting, yes. We took a hard look at the truck, and that warm dry back seat. But we remembered a little dance called PBP and made the call to continue our epic ride.




Here’s Ende climbing up past an interesting Parkway sign. That guy on the motorcycle sure looks like he’s having fun.




Check out the interesting swirl effect of this shot taken on one of the descents.













I saw this little fellow crossing the road. Lucky he didn’t drown.











Another great day on the bikes.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Physics 101 and the Morrisville 600K Support Crew

Did you know your humble support crew barely made it to the turnaround of June's 600K? While taking a shortcut through blueberry country, the support vehicle got mysteriously wedged in a ditch.

The next day, driving home from Wilmington, the sleep-deprived team attempted to figure out what had gone wrong.

Morrisville 600K Video

Monday, July 23, 2007

Bon appétit: A Q&A with Keith Gardiner


Not all of the bike clubs heading to Paris are bringing their own chef. But North Carolina has Keith Gardiner, the department chair of the culinary program at Guilford Technical Community College.

Even for chefs, sometimes simple is best. Keith says he likes PB&J sandwiches while on the bike. And off the bike? Last year, he cooked 40 filets for his MS team. Quick--somebody sign him up for the N.C. Rando Nutrition Committee.

Now in his second year of randonneuring, Keith is one of 21 Tar Heel riders heading to France in August for Paris Brest Paris. We caught up with him for an e-mail Q&A about his dreams and aspirations for PBP, where he hopes to have his best ride meal yet.

How many years have you been randonneuring? Two. I started last year with the Sauretown 200 in HP, did it again this year, became a RUSA member and decided to shoot for PBP.

What got you started doing brevets?
There are a bunch of riders that ride the ST 200K in High Point as a rite of spring, so to speak. I ride with a bunch of them throughout the year so I decided to give it a shot. I love a challenge.

What was the longest ride you’d done before your first brevet? 116 miles

What’s your motivation in heading over to Paris Brest Paris? I was doing the ST 200 this year. Ended up out on the road by myself with a lot of time to think… and said I can do this… or at least give it a shot. So I decided to find out where all the qualifiers were and that is what led me to meet all of you in the Morrisville series.

Any time goal in mind?
80-ish is what I’m thinking now.

What book/music, if any, are you taking to Paris? I will bring my iPod that is fully loaded with everything 1,500-plus songs, books on tape and such. I will bring a France sightseeing book and a Bible.

How has randonneuring changed you? It has made my ass a lot sorer.

Best meal during a ride? I eat anything, but I do not like to eat too heavy while riding. I like bananas, sandwiches of all sorts. PBJ travel well… others you have to get along the way. I’m hoping my best meal during a ride will take place somewhere in France… I have yet to experience it. However last year for the tour to Tanglewood a MS fundraising ride, I brought the grill and some filets and fed the whole team, about 40 people Filet, corn on the cob, salad, Savoyard potatoes, bread and a fresh vegetable medley to tide them over after the first day of riding. So I guess that has been the best so far.

You’re a chef. What’s your best dish? I love to cook anything Italian or ethnic. I do not specialize in any one dish. Having been a Chef in the industry for 17 years I have many great dishes… then having been a chef educator for the past 13 years I have perfected many. I can do it all. I am trained in Classical French cuisine so I am really looking forward to this trip. I prefer hot food, entrees, app’s, soups and sauces, but I also teach cold food, ice carving, sausage making, smoking & curing… you name it, I can do it when it comes to a kitchen.

Favorite randonneuring memory? Getting in out of the rain at White Lake this year… boy was that a welcome stop!!!

What’s the last song you had stuck in your head during a ride? Collective Soul, Simple… I was listening to it on my iPod during the last ride. Great beat to get you up those hills.

Have any other obsessive hobbies we should know about? I like woodworking, gardening and of course cooking… but that is far more than a hobby.

Which is worth more: your car or your bikes? My bike, by far!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Lake Loop: July 21, 2007


We set out at 7:30 a.m. on the 132-mile Lake Loop. The trio: Byron, Lin, me. A perfect riding day: headwinds on the route north, a healthy and helpful push home. Temps in the mid 80s, low humidity that put the drain on our water supply. After the obligatory stop on Kerr Dam, we hit a lunch stop at Roses in Boydton. For more on that eatery, see April's fleche write-up.

We checked out the Skipwith Grocery, a very funky place with a friendly owner who agreed to serve as a control, so I'm moving the second control to there and out of the always busy Uppys in Clarksville.

For the second year in a row, we hit Lake Fest in Clarksville and rode through the crowds on Virginia Street before veering off on the sidestreets and through town.

The last 50 miles we cranked up the tempo, regularly amping it up to 22, 23, 24 until Byron's stomach finally cried uncle. Average ride speed: 17.2, up from 16.4 at the 50-mile mark. We rolled into the finish at 5:15 p.m.

Another beautiful day on the bikes. Slideshow below.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Mountain Training Camp


The big day: 90 miles, 9,000 vertical feet. Salsa & Spaghetti. No Internet. Grandfather Mountain. Grandmother Mountain. Fountains of Wayne. Blue Ridge Parkway, blueberry dessert, wild blueberries. Tubs of French vanilla. Tape of the Tour de France. Lunch at Sharpies, the skinny boys and the skin-free chicken sandwiches. Hold the Mayo. Texas chicken breasts. Gully-washing rain. A feud among friends about the bonus loop. Climb and climb. In and out of the overlooks. Free to a good home: one kitten. Shulls Mill Road. 221. Free financial advice from the Blowhard in Blowing Rock. Dead crow. Laundry. Put the lyrca on high heat and watch em run. Why was the hardest climb of the day always the last one? A miracle: the knee heels. JoeRay vs. Smolke: a story interrupted. Wine, wind and winded. Harold Lloyd. Safety first? Safety Last. Mountain Training Camp.





Sunday, July 15, 2007

"Their simplicity is elegant": A Q&A with Byron Morton


I’d seen Byron Morton over the years, usually working the wrenches at Gilbert Anderson’s shop, but I’d never spent much time talking to him. That changed when, in advance of last weekend’s permanent ride, I drove my car down to Swan Quarter and hitched a ride back with Byron.

Byron’s got one of the c.o.o.l.e.s.t. cars on the planet -- a Suzuki Samurai that screams Third World and apparently flips on a dime. People notice it. As we cruised home, a girl on a riding mower -- and in a bikini -- waved. That doesn’t happen every day. Damned shame, too.

On the drive back to Raleigh, I grilled Byron about his jobs, his cars, his bikes, his rides. The most amazing thing I learned: the man actually knows how to fix a Sturmey Archer hub, the bicycling equivalent of a Rubix Cube.

Byron is one of the Tar Heel riders heading to Paris Brest Paris in August. He graciously agreed to a Q&A and discussed how he got started in randonneuring and how the sport has changed him.

How many years have you been randonneuring? I started riding brevets back in ‘98 when I was working for Gilbert at North Road. I completed my first full series in ‘98 and I’ve done random bevets in the years leading up to this year.

What got you started doing brevets? When I was working for Gilbert, he was always telling these great stories about epic rides and this thing called "P-B-P" -- Gilbert is a grreat storyteller. I liked touring and randonneuring seemed to be a natural extension of that. I’d done a bit of MTB racing, but racing really wasn’t my thing. I like the self-sufficient aspect of randonneuring as well as the camaraderie.

What was the longest ride you’d done before your first brevet? Probably about 75 miles. I was a little scared of my first brevet series -- didn’t know if I could finish the rides -- each one was a new personal record.

What’s your motivation in heading over to Paris Brest Paris? I’ve been wanting to do P-B-P ever since Gilbert first told me about it. I’d hoped to make it in ‘99 and ‘03, but I just couldn’t get all of the pieces of the puzzle to come together.

Any time goal in mind? Just to finish and enjoy the ride. If I’m in danger of missing control cut-offs, then I’ll rush -- otherwise, I plan to ride at a pace I feel comfortable with.

What book/music, if any, are you taking to Paris? I’m reading David Sedaris currently, but I doubt I’ll take him to France with me. I’ll take a cheapo mp3 player with something upbeat to keep me rolling if I get tired at PBP. Probably take a book of sudoko puzzles & magazines (cycling, of course).

How has randonneuring changed you? It’s hard to be a procrastinator and a randonneur. I’ve always been a bit of a procrastinator.... Randonneuring has taught me how to listen to my body and trust my instincts. I’ve also learned alot about focus and determination.

Best meal during a ride? Got to be the hot dog I had in the wee hours of the morning at the Siler City control while on a 400k in
2003 -- it was divine. I was doing the ride with a couple of friends on an alternate weekend -- it was the longest 400k in the history of randonneuring -- we barely made the cut-off time of 27 hours.

Is it true that you know how to fix a Sturmey Archer 3-speed hub? Yep. I love hub gears. I love mechanical things in general -- when I first started working at Bikes USA (before I worked for Gilbert) we had a customer bring in an old Schwinn with a Sturmey Archer hub that wasn’t working. All the mechanics in the shop were standing around like monkeys scratching their heads trying to figure out why the hub wouldn’t work -- we ended up selling her a new wheel. I decided that I was going to figure out how a 3-speed worked. I found an old, small bike repair booklet at Readers Corner that covered the Sturmey Archer in depth and dedicated myself to learning how to repair one. Their simplicity is elegant.

Favorite randonneuring memory? There’s so many. One of my favorite memories came last year (‘06) on the 300k. It had been raining hard for the better part of the day and when we rolled into Andrew’s store on the way back in, I was in a really foul mood. We were all dripping wet and I was the first one to walk into the store. When I entered the store a young boy around 12 years old took one look at me and proclaimed "riding in the rain sucks!" I couldn’t help but smile and agree with him -- that completely changed my mood and I enjoyed the rest of the ride.

What’s the last song you had stuck in your head during a ride? Can’t remember any. It can be the greatest song in the world, but if it’s stuck looping in your head for 200k+ it’s the most annoying song in the world.

Have any other obsessive hobbies we should know about? You mean besides bikes? I’ve taken up gardening lately, which has been going pretty well. My car requires a fair amount of regular tinkering -- I try to tell myself it’s a hobby as opposed to a pain-in-the-ass.

Which is worth more: your car or your bikes? Oh, bikes definitely! But that isn’t saying much! You’ve experienced what I drive!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

In The Blogs / On The Lists

* The first iPermanent? RUSA president Mark Thomas and a few of the usual SIR suspects, including Mark’s longtime riding partner, the indefatigable Peter McKay (say that three times fast), recently completed the first-ever ride of the Black Diamond to Sunrise permanent. The route makes an impressive climb up Mount Rainier to Sunrise lodge and visitor center, located at 6,400 feet. In another impressive feat, Mark apparently became the first cyclist to photograph a permanent with an iPhone. Check out the picture here.

* What bats? Wombats. Fellow blogger Amy has an entertaining discussion about wombats and a “Slab of Beer” on her site. And wouldn’t you know it? Our friend Adrian wandered smack dab into the middle of the conversation.

* A real stinger. In the land of Oz, our friend Surly Dave knows all about wombats. Read about his encounter with one of those "solid little buggers" in the comments section of Amy's post. Celebrating his 100th blog entry, Dave has made a bold move and posted a picture of himself, aged 19, “with some mates who used to race together in a team we called “The Bumblebees.’” Ah, yes, the Mighty Bumblebees. But Dave, with those horizontal black-yellow stripes, how was “Yellow Jackets” ever overlooked? Check out the great picture here.

* Heat stroke? Several of the N.C. riders, including Branson, Jerry, Paul P, Chet and Cyndi, recently rode our 1000K in three days of blazing heat. How hot was it? There was speculation on the N.C. randon list that our riding buddy Branson may have blistered a brain cell or two. The proof: The day after he finished the ride, he and his wife went to see the movie "Waitress," which features a character spouting spontaneous poetry. That evening, Branson tried his hand at a little verse of his own, sending me this "Spontaneous Brevet Poetry" which he claimed to be "making up, right now on the spot:"

Long rides are like people,
(Over there,
there's a steeple.)
Just when you think
you've got them figured out,
they jump up,
and give a shout.

The end.

Somebody call a doctor.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Cap'n John Ende: "There is no reason to rush a masterpiece."




We all owe a huge debt of gratitude to Cap’n John Ende.

He's literally saved our asses.

You may not know this, but he’s the fellow widely credited with discovering the tenacious power of Lantiseptic.

After a major breakthrough like that, you’d expect the Cap’n to rest on his laurels. In fact, he rests on his sofa. His laurels are in the shop.

The Cap’n’s nickname dates to 2004 when he commanded Team Flèche Wound. The label has stuck ever since like… well, like Lantiseptic to chamois.

Cap'n’s ride reports are recommended reading. Check out his PBP report here and his Cascade report here. They’re less about where he turned left or right and more about the characters he befriends along the course. Also, he has a knack for finding the humor in human suffering -- usually his own.

I joked in an earlier post that Cap'n is an enthusiastic undertrainer. There’s a reason for that. He and his wife Amy have three great children. Parenting is their first priority. Always.

While we’re out training on the weekends, Cap’n is working the sidelines as the coach of his kids’ soccer teams. He has a wall of end-of-season appreciation plaques to prove it.

By virtue of location and necessity, his training rides stress quality over quantity. We're talking ear-popping altitude gains. Cap'n lives in Asheville. One of his favorite routes takes him UP to the Blue Ridge Parkway, then UP to Mount Mitchell. At least there's some downhill in the return leg.

Cap'n likes challenging rides. Put the word "EPIC" in the brochure, and he's in. Ende's the guy who talked me into the inaugural Cascade 1200K. An article about the ride showed intimidating photos of Mount St. Helens and Mount Rainier.

Ende e-mailed as soon as he saw it. "Hmmmm...this looks interesting..."

Oh, have I mentioned he shaves his head? Not sure why. Something to do with Telly Savalas and the "Battle of the Bulge."

Research Trailer Park managed to pin down the elusive Cap’n for his first-ever Internet interview. It follows.

How’d your soccer team(s) do last season? Great. All three kids progressed well and had fantastic seasons. This coming year I'll probably only be coaching one team (instead of three) since my two oldest are progressing beyond my knowledge of the game.

When you choose which brevets to ride, do you purposely look for profiles that resemble a healthy EKG chart? Sinus tachycardia is a pattern that draws me in. See the profile for the Cascade or the Nashville "Tail of the Dragon" 600k.

Finish this sentence: “Head hair is for ... pretty boys.

To date, what has been the hardest ride in your randonneuring history? PBP 2003 was probably my hardest ride to date. (Here's the link.) It was not the most difficult course and the conditions were primo, but I had a very difficult time due to gastrointestinal illness at the end of day one. The fourth day of the Cascade had some very low lows. The recent Tennessee 600 was very difficult, it was likely the most challenging course that I will ever see.

Why are you going back for your second PBP?
As long as I can ride a bike I'll go to PBP. It is such a special event. The only bad part about doing PBP is that it will spoil you. I really didn't want to do other rides after coming back from PBP in 2003. I really enjoy riding a bicycle in a country that respects riders. It is also reassuring to see that there are at least 4000 other people in the world that do what you do.

Do you have a time goal this year? Yeah, I'd like to get a little closer to 90 hrs. In 2003 I couldn't go over 84 hrs because I chose the Tuesday morning start. This time I'm doing the Monday night start and I plan on using as many hours as possible. I want to enjoy the ride as much as possible. There is no reason to rush a masterpiece.

If you had to have your knee replaced, would you go with carbon, titanium or steel? I don't think that I'd trust Carbon fiber in my knee. Steel is right out because of the rust factor. Titanium is definitely the way to go.

How much elevation gain does one of your typical training rides have?
I have a nice 20 mile loop from my house that goes over Elk Mountain and has 2400ft elevation gain. If I have more time I'll do a 70 mile ride to Mount Mitchell and back, 8,400 ft.

Pasta or pizza? Yes.

Beer or wine? Beer. Greenman Oatmeal stout is my favorite here--brewed in Asheville and served at Jack of the Wood. My all time favorite is Guinness in Ireland.

What’s in heavy rotation on the home stereo? Of Montreal, Michael Franti, Jonah Smith, Wilco and the White Stripes.

Your favorite cycling book?Metal Cowboy - Tales from the Road Less Pedaled.” by Joe Kurmaskie.

How much have you paid your friends to call you Cap’n? Nada, they do it out of sheer respect.

What question(s) do you wish I'd asked? What are top three brevet meals that you have ever had:

* #3 Michelle's south Georgia Buffet Day 1 and 3 of the Bonifay 1000
* #2 Breakfast at Mazama Day 4 at the Cascade
* #1 2 a.m. 16 oz ice cold tall boy Budweiser at the end of Day one of the recent Tennessee 600. Slept like a baby.

Blackbeard Training Ride / July 7-8


The magic of rural night riding.

Five of us rode the 283K Blackbeard's Permanent this weekend: BobO, Dean, Wes, Byron and myself. We settled on a 10 p.m. start time. That gave the three riders heading to Paris Brest Paris an anticipatory taste of what that nighttime start will be like.

I made a round of lattes for one last bracing jolt of caffeine before we headed out.

The crew hit our busiest street within the first 2 miles, cruising through Raleigh’s Glenwood South district, where the odor of cheap beer and cheaper perfume hung in the sticky night air.

A run through downtown to east Raleigh, 8 miles on Poole Road, a right turn on Grasshopper Road and boom we were in the country.

For the next six hours, the world went quiet and black, illuminated only by the crazy dance of our headlamps.

Dean rolled up beside me as we headed down Covered Bridge Road, about 20 miles into the ride: “I feel like a kid,” he said.

I knew exactly what Dean meant. Night riding is as close as I can get to seeing life through the eyes of a child. As we sailed along on a dark ocean of asphalt, every sound, every smell was exotic. We were on our way to the New World.

Byron recognized one smell as we rode along the tobacco fields near Rock Ridge -- a sickly sweet chemical sprayed on the plants to prevent suckers.

“I worked in tobacco as a kid,” he said. “That smell always made me gag. Not a pleasant memory.”

I warned the crew that we might not see any services for 80 miles or so, and that proved to be the case. We stopped at a “24-hour” service station as we crossed the I-95, about 45 miles into the ride. Closed.

“It’s 24 hours,” Wes said. “Just not 24 hours in a row.”

We drew a crowd as we filled our water bottles and Camelbaks at a faucet out front. At least four cars pulled up, perhaps drawn like moths to the only signs of life in a five-mile radius.

Throughout the night the dogs were spooked by our presence. They howled ferociously as we rolled past, but few strayed from their front porches for a closer encounter.

We made impressive time through the night, regularly hitting 20 mph on several flat straight roads.

We found our first open store in Winterville at mile 82. The store clerk did not bat an eye at the sight of five cyclists arriving at that time of the morning, and he did not ask a single question about where we were from or where we were headed. An extraordinary lack of curiosity or an impressive respect for personal privacy? Dunno. I didn’t ask.

As we ate Powerbars and drank Coke on the front sidewalk, a local rolled up on a one-speed cruiser. He bought a pack of smokes and took his cruiser off into the night.

The sky lightened as we neared Grimesland, just past the century mark, and by the time we reached Washington at 6 a.m. we’d seen the dawn of a new day. We got our cards stamped at the Travel Store, then detoured off-course to the local McDonalds.

Three of the crew had begun to complain about stomach issues, but everyone managed to choke down a biscuit or hash brown.

Breakfast over and stomachs secure, we headed back to the course, following Bike Route 2 for the remaining 100K.

We had an easy 10-mile roll into Bath, Blackbeard’s former hometown where a new breed of pirate, the land developers, appear to have set up shop. From there, a few of us tested tired legs, laying down a 20-plus average on the 13-mile stretch to Bellhaven, where we stopped for drinks and a few photo ops.

Here's a shot of Bob and Dean at the Bellhaven rest stop....










And one of Wes and Byron...


Nothing notable about the last section from Bellhaven to Swan Quarter, except the road itself, which has more bad cracks than a Rodney Dangerfield movie. A constant eyetooth-rattling, wrist-jarring buh-bump, buh-bump, buh-bump.

Wes took the King of the Mountain points by outsprinting a lackluster field up the Intracoastal Waterway bridge.



Here’s a shot from the top.



If the roads were a little bumpy, at least the weather held. Cloud cover sheltered us from the sun, and the wind, which can be a fierce adversary across the exposed wetlands, took the morning off.

Our little group splintered as a couple horses raced to the barn. The frontrunners reached the ferry at 11, with the others arriving a few minutes behind.

We got our cards signed by the sweet woman working the ferry window, and got drinks from another sweet woman, Dean’s wife Deborah, who met us at the ferry station.

We washed off the stink and the road grime with cold hose showers behind the ferry station. Nothing says good morning like 70-degree water. We were kids again in the backyard sprinkler.

Our day accomplished before noon, we loaded up the bikes and headed buh-bump buh-bump home.

Another great training ride with good friends.

Friday, July 6, 2007

621 PBP Applications...and counting...

Well, well...looks like I lost that bet.

You'll recall I wagered there'd be 600 Americans heading to Paris. My friend guessed higher.

Here's a report from the RUSA Web site:


As of Wednesday July 5, the following RUSA members' PBP applications have been received and processed through the RUSA PBP registry.

621 Entries as of July 5


One Orangina coming up.

New Google Maps Feature

Has anyone messed with Google Maps lateley? Looks like they've added a new feature that will be incredibly useful to cyclists.

Essentially, they've made it easier to create bike-friendly routes in the "Driving Directions" feature.

If you've ever used the driving directions function, you know that Google Maps normally selects the shortest route (and the fastest roads) between Point A and Point B. But those aren't necessarily the way I want to go. I prefer rural roads when available.

The new feature allows you to "drag and drop" the route onto those smaller roads. Google Maps then automatically redraws the route and recalculates distance.

Here's a Google video about the new feature.

And here's a route I quickly drew based on the Blackbeard Permanent. There must be a way to get the directions a little cleaner looking.

Does anybody have ideas on that?

Thursday, July 5, 2007

In the Blogs / On the Lists

Unhappy with the trail of your front fork? Got a bothersome shimmy when riding hands-free?

Time to try a rerake. David Rowe does just that, with help from Portland custom frame builder Tony Pereira, in an entry he calls "Extreme Measures."

How'd it work out? Apparently, well enough to get him through last weekend's Glacier 1000K. Rowe was listed on the Oregon Randonneurs site as a finisher at 69:32.

Meantime, in one listserv posting about that event, Oregon rider Michael Rasmussen asserted it had "the first ever flight of stairs" in an official brevet route.

That drew a fun response from Peter M in Australia:

Maybe the first set of steps on your continent, but here in Melbourne we have a regular bike path event which includes a couple of killer sets of steps. One is slightly more user friendly than the other as it includes a little track beside the steps you can wheel the bike up.

Which, in turn, drew this tongue-in-cheek response from Keith K:
I think we'd have to get an official International Randonneuring ruling on this one :) If your stairs in Melbourne are like the Sydney Harbor Bridge steps then they have a semi-usable ramp, not just steps. As I recall it's a good test of the brakes coming down.


No word yet on when that ruling by IR will be issued...

NYT looks at frame pumps

My best news source, Yo A, sent along this item from today's New York Times.

According to the article, which was headlined "Anti-Hitchhiking Insurance":
Lauren Hefferon, the director of and a tour leader at Ciclismo Classico, a company in Arlington, Mass., that runs cycling tours worldwide, tested [five] pumps during her daily commute to and from work.

Definitely worth a look. In case the link no longer works, the pumps tested were:

1. PLANET BIKE ROADIE $29.99, www.planetbike.com. (one of her favorites).

2. CRANK BROTHERS POWER PUMP PRO $30, www.crankbrothers.com. Small enough for a pocket, and equipped with a pressure gauge, but it required "a lot of baby strokes," she was quoted as saying.

3. GENUINE INNOVATIONS SECONDWIND ROAD CARBON $49.99, www.genuineinnovations.com. A hybrid pump/CO2 system. She said the CO2 system worked well but the pump, the smallest of the bunch, required a lot of "stamina."

4. DAHON BIOLOGIC POSTPUMP $30, www.dahon.com. She said this one pumped well.

5. TOPEAK MINI MORPH $30, www.rei.com. The article called this an "easy to use" floor pump. Huh? Looks like a frame pump in the picture. Time to dock the proofreader's pay... [Note: I've since been corrected on this entry and owe an apology to proofreaders everywhere. See comments below.]

Once again, thanks to YoA.

My Fixed Gear Route / Capital Area Greenway


As I mentioned in an earlier post, as part of my PBP training I’ve been heading out for a short (25-30 mile) ride 3 times a week. The goal is simple: keep a little blood in the legs.

Those short rides add up: this week I’ll have at least 80 miles before the local crew assembles for the 175-mile Blackbeard’s Permanent on Saturday night. (Here’s a write-up about putting together that permanent.)

A 1970 Raleigh International set up as a fixed gear has been my bike of choice.

My route of choice: Raleigh’s interconnecting greenway system.

I don’t mind riding fixed on the road, but this time of year, North Carolina gets extremely hot and humid.

The greenways at least provide some shade. And the mostly flat routes make for an easy spin, with a few sections suitable for half-mile sprints.

Many of Raleigh’s greenways use land that is otherwise unsuitable for building or development.


They typically cross swamps or wetlands (see the photo above) or follow a river or creek.

Several of the greenways I ride track Crabtree Creek, which resembles a full-blown river. The creek has the bad habit of jumping out of its bed, mad as hell after a big rain, and flooding its neighbors, including several car dealerships and Crabtree VALLEY Mall (translation: built in the bottom of a bowl).

The creek ain’t much to look at: Another one of those urban waterways knocked off its feet by trash, sediment and tree debris.

The route can also be tough on the olfactory senses. Raleigh runs its sewer system along Crabtree. Venting gas makes the course especially ripe in the summer. Kinda like standing outside the portajohn at the three-day barbecue festival.


I don't mean to focus on the negative. Because there are some incredibly beautiful stretches, including one short rise up to a bluff above the creek. And where else do you get to take a boardwalk across the wetlands?

As an experienced road cyclist, I have mixed feelings about greenways. For one, they’re expensive to build as a separate facility. One often-voiced concern is that they relegate bicycle transportation to a “separate but unequal” status.

Also, there is often a dangerous interface between the greenways and the roads that they intersect. The route I take diverts riders onto an adjacent sidewalk rather into the road, where they belong as vehicles.

In some cases, they duck under major thoroughfares by squeezing under an existing bridge, like the shot above. In the lingo, those are called “Grade-Separated Crossings.”

The most famous of those in Raleigh is a handsome span across the beltline which connects Meredith College and the N.C. Art Museum. But that’s a daylight-only crossing -- Meredith locks off access at night.

The Triangle has some enlightened planners, like Jake Petrosky, who are keenly aware of the advantages, drawbacks and limitations of the local greenways.

A 2006 engineering guidelines report from the bicycle and pedestrian stakeholders group noted that greenways were intended for novice or recreational riders. That’s typically who I see on the route: mothers, fathers and their young children.

The 2006 report also notes: “Multi-use pathways should not be considered as a substitute to on-roadway accommodation of cyclists.”

A nice sentiment, but one that some of the Triangle communities only pay lip service to. When it comes to accommodating bike transportation on Triangle roads, we're often sent to the metaphorical back seat of the bus.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

The Cat In The Hat Is Back...


...And just in time for the Fourth of July celebration.

Here at the Trailer Park, we’ll be grilling burgers after a 25-mile greenway ride.

No celebration is complete without these two holiday songs about fathers and partners.

Independence Day by Bruce Springsteen and Fourth of July by X.

The X song comes off the record “See How We Are,” which apparently has a bonus brevet track: “I’m Lost.”

(These are WMA samples; apologies to the Mac crowd. But you can find a Mac-friendly format here for the X CD and here for the Bruce song.)

Coming soon: A Performance store near you?

The Raleigh News & Observer today reported that Chapel Hill-based Performance Bikes has been sold to a private equity firm, North Castle Partners of Connecticut.

According to the article, North Castle, “targets companies that benefit from the trend toward healthful living.”

Performance, which also operates Bike Nashbar, currently has 74 retail stores in 14 states and also sells through catalogs and over the Internet.

Aggressive expansion is in Performance’s future. Plans call for 90 new stores over the next four years.

The article points out a trend in the bike industry: The number of mom-and-pop shops is declining.

There are about 4,600 independent bike shops nationwide -- down from 7,000 a few years ago, according to one industry source. The stores that are left are generally getting bigger, the article states.

I like Performance and sometimes shop at the company’s Cary store. But I'd hate to see the company’s expansion cause further declines in the number of small indie shops. Because I'm a fan of them.

The guys at Performance weren’t the ones who taught me how to build a wheel. Or helped me get a stuck stem out of an old Raleigh Pro. That was my longtime friend Ed at Cycle Logic in Raleigh.

And they’ve never given me one bit of randonneuring advice. Or had the small bits I needed for my 1971 Raleigh International. Or sold me spare bulbs for my E6 light. I had to get those from Gilbert Anderson’s North Road Bicycle Company, which is now located in Yanceyville. Gilbert is a PBP ancien.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

On The Blogs / In The Lists

Apparently, U.S. cyclists are not the only ones who hear the occasional mystery phrase yelled out the window by passing motorists.

In today's installment, our friend Surly Dave from Down Under attempts to unravel the meaning of this gem:
"Fugamuganugamugaheyooha!"

Read all about it here.

A little closer to home, our friend and N&O reporter Joe Miller has picked up Jerry Phelps' account of his 600K ride. He turned it into a two-part nail biter.

Here's a snippet from Part 1:
"My shoes and helmet are better weather forecasters than I am, and tried to sit out Morrisville-Wilmington-Morrisville, the last qualifying brevet I needed for Paris-Brest-Paris. That’s the only explanation I can conjure for why they were not in my car at 6 a.m. Saturday, June 2, as I watched the other 31 riders disappear into the sunrise."

And one from Part 2:
"Thirty miles to go and the ride was in the bag? Hah! Five miles later in my sleep-deprived, helmet-slipped-down-too-low-on-my-forehead-so-I -can’t-see-10-feet-in-front-of-me state, I rolled through a big hole at top speed for a snapping turtle and flatten both tires (flats #3 and #4), including putting a nice gash in the new rear tire."

The N.C. rando crew are turning into regular newsmakers. You'll recall that last week Joe wrote up Branson's 600K trials.

Online Poll Results: July Training Miles


The results of the online poll are in, and one thing is clear: Most riders heading to PBP have big training plans for July.

Nearly half of you, or about 46 percent, will average 201 weekly miles or more.

As a group, you'll ride 400,000 miles in July, or 643,737 kilometers, according to one calculation.

The online poll queried PBP hopefuls about their weekly training plans this month. Here’s what the 57 respondents reported:

* One in three PBP participants, or 33 percent, said they planned to ride 201-250 training miles each week in July.

* About 25 percent, or one in four riders, said they'd shoot for 151-200 weekly miles.

* About 1 in 10 riders said they'd keep the miles to a minimum -- 100 miles or less per week.

* At the upper end of the scale, 1 of every 8 respondents said they planned to average more than 250 weekly miles.

Using the low end for each category (and tossing out the 0-100 results completely), then mulitplying by the number of confirmed RUSA participants (500), I got a whopping total of 305,814 training miles in July.

When I went with the higher end of each spectrum, I got 401,146 training miles.

Impressive indeed!

During the Big Show in August, when the miles get compressed into four days rather than four weeks, those 500 riders will rack up 375,000 miles or 603,504 kilometers, assuming they all finish.

If all of the 4,300 expected participants were to finish, they'd log 3,225,000 miles, or 5,190,134 kilometers.

Thanks to everyone who participated in the survey.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Paul's Ride Report: Siler City Express

Paul from Charlotte was the first official rider of the Siler City Express, and now holds the course record. He caught one correction for the cue sheet -- the Fuel Express is actually named the Kangaroo Express and located next to the Food Lion, where he parked.

Here's his ride report.

It was a hot and muggy ride on the Siler City Express Saturday. The cold front that promised to bring rain and cooler temps must have been delayed but the Express pulled out only 15 minutes behind schedule....

The trip through the Uwharries was uneventful except for some near collisions with dogs. I wish they would reopen the Uwharrie Sportsman at the turn around. A couple of work trucks were parked there so maybe there's hope.

On the return trip I stopped at Jumping Off Rock to have a look. I almost missed it but 0.2 miles past the trailhead someone had painted a big sign with arrows on the road pointing to the pullout. The rock is only a few feet off the road (partway up the toughest climb of the route). Not too spectacular in my opinion and reaching the water to cool off was too steep a scramble for me. It would be better to sit in the water near the road crossing by the trailhead.

The dogs were pretty tame on the return except for that little bug-eyed fellow. Boy can he run!

I was in danger of setting a record I'd have trouble breaking the next time so I stopped in Seagrove for the giant chicken sandwich, french fry and chocolate malt combo (proof of purchase submitted with brevet card).

This did the trick, reducing my speed from a ramble to a mosey.

RUSA Members at PBP: 500 and Counting!

Wow!

To date, RUSA board member Jennifer Wise has received AND processed 500 PBP applications from U.S. hopefuls, according to RUSA’s Web site.

That’s already well above the 460 RUSA members who participated in 2003.

The number of 2007 applications is certain to continue climbing. Entries had to be postmarked by yesterday, July 1, and they take a few days to process.

I have a bet with a friend -- a cold Orangina riding on the outcome -- that we’ll hit the 600 mark. My friend calls me a pessimist and has wagered we’ll go even higher. Stay tuned for the final count.

Assuming 600 is correct, that would represent a 23 percent jump in American participation in Paris Brest Paris.

Impressive? Absolutely. But not a huge surprise, given RUSA's phenomenal 32 percent growth in membership from 2003 to 2007.

Whatever the final tally, the U.S. contingent is likely to be the second largest pool of participants, trailing only the French riders, who typically make up half of the field.

Assuming 600 as the U.S. total that will start PBP, 1 of every 7 riders in the expected field of 4,300 participants will be a RUSA member.

For comparison’s sake, RUSA accounted for about 1 of every 9 riders in 2003.

BobO's Lake Loop Report

BobO of Virginia Beach did the Lake Loop permanent on Saturday. He reports:
I completed the ride without getting lost or missing any turns! This is a first.

Nice to hear. I designed the route and always worry that someone will lose their way.

He also states:
This is a nice route. No major climbs. Few dogs; the dogs that are loose only attack when you are tired and one of them was a beagle! There are plenty of gas stations and little country stores along the route. I would recommend that you twist someone's arm to tag along for company as 8 - 10 hrs alone can get long.

BobO's ride report is on his blog, beachkettleball.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Lake Norman Training Ride





For a while yesterday, this cool cat looked like the only other cyclist Wes and I would see on this weekend's 140-mile Lake Norman training ride. Eventually, we saw two riders heading in the other direction. I didn’t get their pictures, so the cat gets top billing.

The route we took tracks east-west from Chapel Hill to Cornelius. We passed through several familiar towns, including Saxapahaw (this shot shows an old mill, now converted to condos, on the banks of the Haw River) and Liberty, the town where our flèche team narrowly avoided failure.

The route is not too hilly. Before the battery died on my GPS (116 miles), I recorded 5,700 feet of climbing. Most roads are rural, but the run through Randleman is busy, as is a nine-mile stretch on Bringle Ferry, near High Rock lake.

Here’s a photo of the dam.


I also burned 7700 calories during that period, but I more than replaced them with this heaping plate of food at a breakfast/lunch stop in Denton. Wes ordered a burger and about five pounds of curly fries.



One surprise: we hit a bridge out at about mile 30. The DOT had “Detour Road Closed” signs up, but we decided to risk it. This was one of those instances when the road truly was out of commission. Rather than backtrack, we waded through a couple hundred yards of muck and forged a creek with bikes on our shoulders. It took about 10 minutes to clear cement-like clay from our cleats.



The Rest Stop of the Day popped up at mile 120, around 2:30 p.m. After being baked for miles by a merciless sun, we were both parched and nearly out of water. We hadn’t expected to see another store, but came across Atwell’s One Stop.



Check out this great sign (right) on the front door. Don’t see that much anymore.

Inside, Butch entertained us while we polished off icy bottles of K&W root beer and North Carolina’s own Cheerwine. Butch’s store is one of the cleanest I’ve ever been in, and Butch was rightfully proud of it. “The floor gets mopped every evening,” Butch said. “Sometimes it gets mopped twice a day.”

We rolled through Davidson around 3:40 and by 4:15 had our feet up, eating Chex Mix, at the Lake Norman condo of Wes’ in-laws.

We topped that off with an exceptional Indian meal and an evening of engaging conversation at the in-laws’ other home. Among the topics that came up for discussion: ice fishing on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

The ride put me over my stated goal of getting in about 200 training miles each week.

As I said, we saw two other riders on our route, but at least two of our rando crew were out on the permanent courses:

* Bob from Virginia beach signed up for the Lake Loop, which circles Kerr/Buggs Island Lake.

* Paul from Charlotte was scheduled to do the inaugural ride of the Siler City Express.

Any ride reports, guys?

I need to give props to Dean, who teaches physiology here in Raleigh. I told him my heart rate was often elevated, probably from dehydration, at the end of these long rides. His advice: take in more electrolytes. I’m garbling what he told me, but the gist is that the salt draws water back into the blood, increasing its volume and making it easier on the old ticker.

So, I took one e-cap early in the ride, and one after lunch. Not sure if there’s a cause and effect here, but my heart rate averaged 140 beats per minute, or about 4 beats slower than normal. However, we didn’t push too hard yesterday, as Wes was making the return trip. (I had to bail to care of some freelance work, but JoeRay joined Wes for today’s eastbound leg.) So time will tell...